Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Changing My Outlook On Things - Part Two

(The date up there says it's the 27th, but it's really the 2nd. The 27th is when I started writing this.)

Wow, was that a gripe session or what? I didn't mean for it to be. Let me start off by telling you a little bit about what happened. I started noticing my 4-year-old, Maddie, was starting to get a little pooch in her belly. I've sworn up and down her whole life that I was never going to have a fat kid, and I'm not. I had been eating Little Debbies and all kinds of snacks at any time during the day. Every time I ate something, Maddie wanted one of whatever I was eating. After I noticed the pooch in her belly, I stopped buying sweets. Her "pooch" went away...mine, however did not.

Also, I've been breastfeeding since Abby was born back on October 16th of 2009. We had to start supplementing with formula because she wasn't gaining weight. She couldn't tolerate the milk-based formulas so we switched to soy. She still was pretty fussy quite a bit of the time, so I stopped eating any and all dairy products which means no cheese and no butter - two of the most beautiful things on the face of this earth!

I figured the weight would just fall off me - not! So after being pissed for a few weeks, I decided to change the way I ate. At breakfast I'll eat two slices of toast with I Can't Believe It's Not Butter and some strawberry jelly - or a bowl of oatmeal (one packet of instant oatmeal) with no butter. Lunch I'll usually have a sandwich on wheat bread with mustard on one slice of bread, ketchup on the other and four slices of turkey breast. Supper, we've been having chicken so much lately I think I'm beginning to cluck.

But I think the most important thing I'm doing is exercising every day (I didn't exercise Sunday or Monday because I have some kind of virus that Maddie had). Yeah, I'm only doing the Wii Fit, but something is better than nothing, right? I do it for 30 minutes every day - the hula hoop for six minutes kicks my butt!

From the time I had Abby to before I started exercising, I had managed to lose 27 pounds. Since I started eating better and exercising (which in actuality has been about 8 days) I've lost 9 pounds.

I've managed to make myself think that when I want to eat some french fries, if I eat more than a couple, then I'm only cheating myself and I cannot stand cheaters. I will actually chant "you're only cheating yourself, Shelley - you're only cheating yourself" out loud as I'm putting the french fry or whatever it is in my mouth. I've always wondered why people cheat at games. What's the thrill in winning if you cheated? I've tried to apply that to eating. Why is it so wonderful if I eat the whole bag of french fries versus eating a couple? It's not wonderful at all.

What I miss the most? The sweets, the salty, the buttery, the cheesy, the starchy, the creamy, the chocalatey, the...I just keep telling myself, I'll be able to eat any and all that in moderation after I get all this weight off my bo-bo.

(I'm sorry if this post is hard to read. I've been trying to write it for a week now and I'm trying to cram all my thoughts into it before the baby wakes up. )

Forgot to mention something funny Maddie said this morning. I hadn't done the Wii Fit in two days because I've been sick. I thought I'd get on it and it would tell me I'd lost at least 3 pounds - NOT! I gained 0.2 pounds! What the heck? I can't remember exactly what I said, but Maddie knew I was disappointed. After doing the second or third exercise, I ranked like 10th place. Maddie says, You stop being mean to my, Mama, you man! She's so funny.

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