So I'm on about week 1 of trying to eat better. I'm trying to totally change my way of thinking, and I actually think it might be working.
This year I'm hoping to attend my 20th high school reunion. But there's no way in hell I'll be going with the way I look now.
You see, I gained exactly 50 pounds with my last pregnancy. Lovely, I know. The worst part about that is I was already 75 pounds overweight! Why the hell am I saying all this out loud? Why am I being so honest? Other than the fact that I might have completely lost my mind, I thought that me documenting this might actually help somebody else. Although I don't know if it will or not because if you're anything like me, you don't want to hear anybody's wonderful advice about how they think you should eat or what they think you should do. So you can follow on this journey with me - you can laugh with me or at me, I don't really care just as long as you laugh.
I've tried diets before - I was on Nutrisystems when I was in high school, people! I was only, like 10 pounds "overweight" - and I wasn't even overweight. Did they like change the guidelines of what they considered fat was? I think I weighed 140 something and I'm 5'8". Anyway, that's a crazy memory I just remembered.
I also was on Jenny Craig for a while...think that was a few years after I graduated from high school. Back then I was only maybe 20 pounds overweight. Ahhh, those were the days.
I have never followed an exercise routine. The reason why I don't run is because my boobs would be like huge atomic bombs exploding in my eyeballs every time I took a step. My boobs are huge - always have been. Back in high school, I have some not-so-fond memories of hearing "Hey Dairy Queen!" or "Milk it does your body good, pass it on" being yelled at me through the halls.
Excuses, excuses, excuses.
Well, I'm tired of my own excuses and I've decided to do something about it. What am I doing you say? Well, I'm getting up off my ass is what I'm doing. I'm tired of being a fat ass, large Marge, two-ton Tessy - I'm flat out tired of it and I'm in the process of doing everything I can to change it.
I'll post more later. Right now I'm tired of typing and the 3-month-old wants some attention! More later, promise.